A Lost Treasure
A long time ago when MTV use to play videos and VHS recorders were the coolest inventions every, I use to record my favorite music videos.
For those of you who remember, it was kind of like having a mix tape of your favorite songs. The kind where we’d always get the disc jockey talking at the beginning or the end. MTV videos were the same but Martha Quinn was so cute it didn’t really matter.
A while back I was cleaning out my old collections of odds and ends and what do you know, there they were. I converted my old videos to DVD’s to keep the memories safe but as time passed they became lost and forgotten.
Doing what I always do when I have a project in mind, I found something shiny and traveled in another direction. This particular shiny thing were my old videos.
Instantly I was taken back in time.
Was this a bad idea?
No, not like John Cusack in The Hot Tub Time Machine, but emotionally. Every video, regardless of song, sparked a mood that I was in on that particular day. Interesting enough, it was not the same emotion I felt when I heard the song on the radio.
Yes. I probably need to be part of a medical experiment.
Something Happened
Last week I shared with you my experience of the day my books arrived. Soon after that fun day I sat down and read my book. It was the first time I ever read it as an actual reader. Instantly I was taken back in the same way the music videos took me.
Chapter One I was happy and confident. Chapter Two frustrated. Chapter Three contained a series of mixed emotions and so on and so on. You can only imagine my mental state when I finished.
I recognized the major rewrites and the minor ones. I spotted the battles I won with my editors, along with the ones I lost. At one point I had to put the book down and walk away.
A one time thing?
I have four more books in my head and if I’m able to write them I’m curious if they will affect me the same way. Or was this nothing more than a rookie experience?
Whatever the future holds, I will say this, when it comes to creating something the end result may always be an emotional roller coaster. At least for me.
You are not alone in experiencing this; I, too, have felt this way albeit with an unpublished, unfinished manuscript in my experience, but feelings are the same. It’s surreal isn’t it?
Now, how can I get my hands on a signed copy? 😉
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Happy to see I am not alone. A signed copy you say. E-mail me. We’ll work something out. 🙂
bryanjfagan@gmail.com
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Oh definitely a roller coaster ride 😉 I even cannot imagine all the excitement in reading your own book 📖 😊
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I swear, every chapter had its own little back story. I should do a blog post on one chapter and all the stuff we had to do to get it right.
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A wonderful experience 🙂
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You are a writer, Bryan, so you are supposed to be a mixed bag of emotions. You either accept that, or plead insanity. Personally, I hover between the two…
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Insanity is right. I am knee deep in book two and every day I’m happy/sad/angry/confused. That’s pretty much every half hour. Why am I doing this?
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If that answer ever arrives, please share it with me?
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Dear Husband says he had a crush on Martha Quinn.
I think it’s neat that you have a book out to give you an emotional roller coaster ride!
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It was the early ’80’s. Every guy adored her.
Thank you, Priscilla. It’s an interesting experience.
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Every now and then I will read one of my books as a reader. I find it a fun experience when I can sit back and simply enjoy the story without all the trauma of what went into its creation. It’s like a reward for staying the course.
I say embrace what you’ve created and enjoy the tale. You’ve earned that right!
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Embrace is the word that I will use. Thank you, Mae.
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“I found something shiny and traveled in another direction.” Yea…
Anyway…
It’s impossible to detach yourself from your work like that and be a random, first-time-reader. Of course you’re going to feel differently about it all.
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That is so true.
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Reading your own book can be emotional to say the least. But it’s like watching yourself on television, you get to see a side of yourself you never thought you’d see. In this case read, I can’t wait to read it, I ordered my copy yesterday on Amazon! A paperback copy, no Kindle for me, WooHoo!
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Thank you so much. That means a lot. I hope you enjoy it. Please leave a review on Amazon when you finish.
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I go back to some of my older blog posts and get mixed emotions cause I remember what I was feeling when I wrote it. Reading your own book has to be like that times 1000. But it sounds like such an awesome experience!
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The feeling I have holding it in my hand is amazing. The emotions I felt with each chapter surprised me. I think as time goes on I’ll understand it a lot more. You mentioned your past blogs, you are so right on that. Your blog is your book and with each post a different emotion comes from it. Pretty amazing when I think about it.
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I had the exact same thing happen to me with the first book, so much so that I must have gone over the second manuscript dozens of times, finding every little error and revising until the cows came home. Still, I know when I read it as a reader for the first time, there will be something I’ll regret–I just hope it’s nothing too big:-)
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It’s such a personal thing, isn’t it. I need to check out your books. I want to see what you write.
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I so miss the MTV of the 80s. MTV doesn’t hardly have any music-related programming left that I can see… it’s all drama-related programming. They should change it DTV, although I think that’s already being used in a number ways.
Ah, the mixed emotions of writing… one thing I love about blogging is that I can read through old posts and edit them or delete them when I just feel completely embarrassed by what I’ve written. Print is so permanent… still I think it’s something most writers (including me) still aspire to.
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Your writing is so solid. You will achieve whatever you want.
As for MTV: At least we have Youtube and some private collectors like me. There’s always that moment where we can travel back in time.
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I totally had VHS tapes filled with my favorite videos, except they’re taped from Much Music, which was the Canadian equivalent of MTV. When you were describing how you felt while reading your baby, I totally felt those emotions along with you.
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Hi Raimey. It’s such a strong and personal emotion, isn’t it. I must say, it took me by surprise. As for your VHS tapes, convert them over. Those are priceless. They are a wonderful piece of history.
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Ah, thanks for the nice words. Yes, I’m glad for Youtube so I can go back and watch all my favorite hair band vids from back in the day. 🙂
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You are welcome. I hope you sit down and pen a novel someday. Whatever you write would be amazing.
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Every book I’ve written has been an emotional rollercoaster, I’m not sure I’d want it any other way. 😅
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I have a feeling I will soon agree. 🙂
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Most things we really & truly care about are like that, no? What a lovely rollercoaster to be on — so happy for you, Bryan 🙂
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Thank you!!!!
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