I’m a firm believer in breaks. Work three hours, take a 15 minute break. Work five hours, go to lunch. I’m sure you’ll agree breaks are good for the body and mind. But for reasons unknown I could not convince the pilot to do the same. Not that I actually had a chance. But if I did I would have kindly suggested we break this ridiculous lengthy flight in two.
The day started off so fine
Our flight schedule was as follows: Hop on a plane in Eugene, Oregon for a nice 2 hour, 50 minute flight to Salt Lake City, Utah. It was nice. It was pleasant. Refreshing comes to mind.
Unfortunately the following flight was a one shot – non-stop flight to Amsterdam.
Yes. The Netherlands.
I tried to entertain myself…..really I did.
The mind can do strange things when the airplane seat refuses to recline and the mind refuse to sleep.
Allow me to explain:
- If I would have brought my own bed my sleep issue would not have existed. Sadly there are rules against this.
- I had no idea there was an endless supply of movies. I also had no idea these particular movies would place me into a hypnotic state I had only seen in county fairs. Not that I mind.
- Thinking sleep was near, damn you hypnotic state, I turned off the movie for a nice five hour nap. Within seconds the mind snapped out of it. Nature has an interesting sense of humor, doesn’t it.
Bathroom Breaks and Comedy Acts
As most of you know I traveled to Europe with the help of Mr. Wheelchair. I love the window seat but attempting to climb over two people was probably a bad idea. My ticket was for the aisle with my bad knee away from the passengers.
Smart move, I remember saying.
With the bathroom break occurring somewhere near or over the Atlantic, I immediately realized it may not be as easy as I thought. On the other hand a Marx Brother’s comedy routine had strong possibilities.
I could never figure out how to raise the arm rest. Being a typical guy who hates to ask I convinced myself it was broken. I swung the bad knee over the arm rest, really bad idea, and grabbed hold of the seat in front, another really bad idea. I quietly apologized to the person in front for pulling out of chunk of her hair.
FYI: Her roots were dark, her hair platinum blonde.
I stood in the aisle and waited for the bad knee to unlock and loosen. I appeared motionless pretending nothing was wrong but standing motionless in the aisle of a plane in this day and age is a bad idea. I immediately grabbed hold of the seats in front of me and took a step.
Once I reached the bathroom I realized there was a double line. I quickly learned the aggressive one wins out. I remember having flashbacks to those videos of black Fridays.
Snack time became the greatest moment in my life
It was hour seven, maybe eight when we were handed these little slushy drinks. Mine was orange and in that moment I became the world’s greatest slushy drinker.
I could feel the lovely sugar running through my veins and just as I began to beg for more another round of snacks appeared.
This time it was a giant cookie and a cold coke. Moments later a hot disposable towel was placed in our palms. I remember the sensation was something I hadn’t felt since my teenage years.
Yes, I’ll stop talking.
Free at last
When we exited the fight and stepped into the real world I have to admit it took some getting used to. The colors were extremely bright, the voices a little loud, but above all I really missed my orange slushy.
I was ready to get this show on the road. Europe was calling and I was ready for the challenge.
Vienna here I come!!!!!!