A long time ago I knew this girl. Unfortunately so did every other guy in town.
She was pretty. She wore nice clothes and for reasons I can’t explain I remember she walked really fast.
It was a boring Friday night. My grandparents were weekend warriors and doing their usual thing. All of my friends had dates or were out of town while I was settling in to an HBO classic, a bag of chips and the company of my cat.
As one movie ended and another began my plans for a nice boring evening were squashed by the fast walking girl.
She asked if I’d like to see a movie and if I did I had to be at her house in the next twenty minutes. Puzzled and pleased I did what every young boy my age would do:
I searched for the car keys.
I remember running to my room for a quick change of clothes. I remember changing out of my blue shirt and blue jeans in exchange for a fresher pair of blue shirt and blue jeans.
I had a plan. Trust me.
I arrived at her house in 15 minutes. Way ahead of schedule. My friends with dates and my weekend warring grandparents couldn’t light a candle to my current and exciting situation.
Little did I know
It was a warm summer night when she jumped into my car wearing a black stocking cap and a matching black shirt. Figuring it was a new style she was experimenting with I drove on.
As I searched my brain for small talk she interrupted with an address. The movie will be fun, she promised, but we need to make a few stops along the way.
Happy to have my existence acknowledged I obliged.
Our first stop was a busy neighborhood full of cars on the street and driveways. People stood out in the road drinking and smoking. Clearly a party was happening and I wasn’t invited.
I asked who we were looking for and she quickly answered a friend. This was followed by a compliment of my blue shirt.
We drove through three neighborhoods until suddenly she ordered me to stop.
She sunk down low in her seat. Her black stocking cap barely peaking above the dashboard. Suddenly she yelled move as the sports car in her view sped away.
We followed it to a local fast food hangout where we spied behind a dumpster. She rolled down her window and ordered me to pull ahead.
Four guys huddled around the sports car when suddenly they jumped in and sped away.
I had long given up on my movie as I did my best to keep up. We were five minutes from show time but what did I care? I was dying to see how this ended.
We drove across town to the county fair. I was amazed we made it. I had a Chevy Chevette, he had something with an actual engine.
I didn’t have time to breath as she dragged me out of my car and in to the direction of the four guys. In that moment I remembered missing my original plans of HBO, chips and my cat Morris.
He was probably eating my chips.
I was shoved against a wall of hey and ordered to tell her what I saw. Not much, I tried to explain, as pieces of hey stuck in my eye.
She pulled me away and shoved me into the open space. In that moment I saw a girl around my age showing off her prized pig.
Did I mention it was the fairgrounds?
I remember questioning my intelligence as to why I never dated a farm girl. They were nice and pleasant and clearly had a thing for pigs.
What’s not to love?
I was suddenly pulled into the goat section where the previous scene began to play out. But this time was a little different. She didn’t need me to tell her what she saw.
In an instant I was left stranded with pieces of hey, a friendly goat and my former fast walking date beating up her ex-boyfriends new love.
At the time I had no idea what stalking was nor did I know I was in for a serious case of life’s lessons.
But I do know this: Being young and clueless makes for a great story.
Happy Friday Everyone!