Back in my younger days I was not an avid writer. Sure, the ideas were there but the drive was not. Besides, even if I had the time there was way too many things to do.
For starters, I had an issue with an exploding car. Or might I say, the possibility of one.
I owned a Ford Pinto that was created with the gas tank in the back. One tiny fender bender and who knows.
For those of you unfamiliar with such luxury, I’ll wait as you take a gather at the picture below.
Mine was a gorgeous blue complete with a hatchback, a permanent smiley face ink stain on the seat and a semi-stuck driver’s side door. What’s not to love?
After my Pinto days disappeared I was still too busy to write. To be honest my time was well spent replacing it with a Chevy Chevette. Sadly it was a lateral move, but on the bright side the odds of an explosion were slim.
I’m enclosing a photo of yours truly during those times. In that photo he was probably in year one of his blissful Chevy Chevette days.
He had the talent to create. His mind was far younger than it is today and of course, if you were to ask, he had all the answers.
Besides his car issues, entrepreneurial disasters and sleeping in way to late, I often wonder what my younger self would have done had he somehow been placed in the magical world of today and were asked to blog his dating life?
Sure, there would have been the predictable disastrous moments. The false hope and blown opportunities. Along with numerous embarrassing circumstances and of course those close calls involving police raids.
But those are sound bites and we all have those. So I reached back in time and asked this guy who looked a lot like me, not to mention a lot more hair, if it would be okay if we tagged along as he ventured into the land of dating.
His name is Bryan Fagan. He’s 21 years old and he’s living in a little town in Northern Washington that goes by the name of Burlington.
He’s lived there his entire life. He’s kind of bored. A little lost in his way but most of all he would like to meet a nice girl.
My dear readers may I present to you my younger self trapped in today’s world and doing the best he can.
As you can see it’s not exactly blogging but we’ll give the poor guy a pass.
Bryan, take it away.
I met the coolest girl at a party Thursday night. The place was loud. No clue what she said but I’m pretty sure I smiled when I was supposed to.
I asked if I could text her. She frowned and yelled over the music she had a boyfriend. Unfortunately it happened between songs.
Pretty sure everyone heard it. Including the boyfriend.
Romantic heartbreak filled with suicidal thoughts. She was perfect. Why bother trying? But wait, her best friend gave me a second look!
Scratch suicidal thoughts. Need to investigate the friend.
The friend works at a retirement home. Unless I can convince my grandmother to rent a room I highly doubt there’s a believable reason to stop by.
But wait – told by a reliable source she likes to unwind at Starbucks. I am so on it.
Took the entire day to get up the nerve. Coffee gives me the jitters. I’m nervous by nature. Combine the two and I’ve created a ticket for disaster!?
I ‘accidently’ stumble into her Starbucks and made my move.
It only took a half hour of contemplating and another half hour of stalking. She remembered me the moment I waved. Yes, I waved.
I ordered a double shot hazelnut latte. I will probably die.
She was full of happy news. Happy for her anyway. She rekindled a dying romance and was as happy as a June bride.
I downed the entire latte, burnt tongue and upper lip, in three gulps. Listened to the entire story. Somehow smiled at the happy parts and had to pee really bad.
As the romance fire blew out before it started I remembered I knew an employee at Starbucks. Of course! She volunteers at the animal shelter.
I can volunteer at the animal shelter!
This is much better. We’ll have something in common. Who doesn’t love puppies and kittens?
Heavy thinking. Subject: Starbucks employee. Trying to remember if she had a wedding ring. Or was it a class ring? Any old ring?
Did she have brown hair and blue eyes or was it the other way around?
Note: Remember eye and hair color. Kind of important.
Day 6 and a half)
Went back to Starbucks. I guess I’m a regular now. Double shot latte waiting for me. Must remember her name. Macy? Darcy?
Note: Remember names. Sort of important.
She had the day off. Volunteering at the animal shelter.
Question: Why am I doing this? Does desperation start with a D or a P as in Pathetic?
Day 6 and three quarters)
Do I really want to commit? A relationship is a serious thing. Am I boyfriend material?
Short answer – Probably not.
On the other hand it would be nice to have a girlfriend. I’m always the third wheel.
Question: Am I good for the long term? Would I be a fun and caring Tuesday night guy?
Hell, who is?
Lost the nerve with the Starbucks/Animal Shelter girl. Macy or Darcy?
Note: Find out for general curiosity sake.
Coffee is making me sick. Still shaking. Pretty sure it’s permanent. Tried to hide it by keeping my hands in my pockets. Not a good look.
Note: Stop shaking people are staring.
I have officially retired from the dating scene. I will be a professional third wheel. Pretty sure one can make a living off that.
A strange thing happened while I was in deep thought while standing in line at my favorite deli. I saw her.
The Deli Girl!
She makes an amazing ham and swiss. Light mayo, heavy on the lettuce. Crust cut off.
She has a dazzling smile. No ring. Hopefully she hates coffee and she’s wearing a name tag.
Note: Try to glance at her name tag but do not stare too long. Remember the last incident.
Great news! She has a Pinto and is afraid to drive it. I asked if she needed a ride home.
Dazzling smile Deli Girl said yes!
Still haven’t looked at her name tag.
Note: Make learning her name a priority.
Exhausted. Need a nap. Can I go back to the 1980’s please?